Lady readers! I must apologise for my absence of late. I've been incredibly busy drafting A Year off the Ward, which looks set to be published but only on the condition that I first pen a serious exploration of the dumbest jobs for women in the UK. I know what you’re thinking
“This is Posie Rider- a middle to upper-middle class urban haute bourgeois lady writer with a trust fund large enough to purchase a small African country- why would she be writing an article on air-head jobs for women?”
Well readers, that’s kind of the point. The piece is designed to be incredibly shocking, namely because of my hostile reaction to employment opportunities miles beneath my superior intellect. For instance last week I spent a whole three days working in a ‘PR’ company in the ‘HR’ department, which mainly consisted of me ordering Marks and Spencer’s mince pies online and emptying packets of ready salted crisps into little bowls to go with the ‘dress-down Friday’ bar that opens each…Friday. God it was hell. My incredible brain hadn’t been so distressed since I got a B in my Art A-level. Those of you who have had the honour of seeing my incredible artistic offerings on this blog will know that such a claim is totally unfounded and the equivalent of stealing an ice-cream from a small child playing in the sunshine and possibly flashing your genitalia at her: perverted and wrong.
This week I’ve been working in an supposed ‘organic’ kitchen, which I thought would be a more pleasant pursuit, but how wrong I was (my toilet cleaner is more organic than the contents of their culinary offerings). When embarking upon a recipe for Sorrel, Leak and Venison soup I was rudely told to put down my chopping knife and start preparing some egg and cress sandwiches. Egg and cress sandwiches! This was a shop on the high street in Holborn (I sought a position in Borough Market but needless to say there were none available - sigh) but even in this run down cafe I was most shocked by the substandard eating habits of the masses. Next week I’m going to be a receptionist at a hair salon where, in order to fully embrace the role, I am required to peruse those awful publications that go by the name of Heat and Grazia.
However, once again (as with most of my literary purists) I do all this all in the name of great art. For upon completing this terrible article I have been guaranteed publication of my ground-breaking A Year off the Ward.
I (often) feel like a female Jesus! It really is too too much to bear the weight on womankind, and yet I go on... Toodles! x
3 days ago