Advertising, sexist? You bet.

I was thinking (again) the other day: I haven't seen a tampon ad on telly for an extremely significant period of time.

Body Form (as with most advertisements) was certainly degrading to women. No woman's thighs are that thin, no stomach that flat during menstruation. BUT the theme tune was undeniably empowering (reminiscent of Baywatch in fact). Yes, it was really quite catchy (NB I am not condoning Baywatch, again as with most programs, it was highly degrading to women).

Only tonight I was drinking some Horlicks with my cat, Emmeline Pankhurst, watching Newsnight Review, listening the the mindless babbling of that f******g bitch Kirsty 'butter wouldn't melt in my quim' Wark. She was gay raping my brain again and again and again. So I turned over to ITV (I know, I know) when yet another male accentuated 'CAR' (aka 'Cunt Alienating Robots') advert leaped onto the screen. Then suddenly, as if from no where, I thought to myself 'Where have all the tampon adverts gone?'

Sanitary Camp? I don't think so gals. Sanitary camps aren't real.

Is this what women have come to? Are we meant to stick a Citreon bloody Picasso up our fannies each time we bleed? Bleeding which I might add ensures the survival of the human race. Because some women might not know that. Some women (imprisoned by their gender) might shove a gear stick up there and seriously hurt themselves. And then we'll all be blamed for putting 'serious strain' upon the NHS, because it's always OUR fault isn't it?!

I don't need a car when I'm on the blob. I can take the bus, I am a MODERN woman. But what I do need is a tampon, or maybe a moon cup when I'm in the country at weekends. What I certainly do not need is a silly remote controlled light, or an environmentally friendly engine (honestly I mean men will believe anything).

No to cars and yes to tampons. No to a free ride and yes to freedom!