Playing violently upon my disordered mind was further misogyny that I'd innocently encountered on the television in the ad break between sliding doors. The two newest attacks on my piece are:
a) the new Lynx 'Bullet' adverts in which a creepy teenage boy looks at attractive women walking past, blinks, and the women suddenly is in her knickers and bra. He blinks again, realising he's not wearing his 'Lynx' today and thus will not be able to have sex with her, then her clothes magically re-appear. He sighs.
The ad line: 'Never miss a chance'. The subtext - 'Never miss a chance to perve on or rape a woman'.
b) Lesbian Vampire Killers, a disgusting new film starring the talentless chavs from Gav and Stacey in which they - guess what - kill lesbians! It's like a 21st century witch dunking! This sort of thing hasn't been seen in Europe since 1647! Honestly, I know I will never see this film, but just the thought of these two gormless greasers rubbing their thighs against lascivious totty before driving a stake between their enormous breasts fills me with unstructurable jitters.
This film is actually almost nothing to do with the hapless pair, having been peddled around the industry since the early noughties by producers ready to pounce on the first duo of stars in enough financial mire to accept the parts. It's undoubtedly going to ruin their careers, and really I should feel sorry for them...but who has the patience?
Here's to the general re-release of Teeth!