feminist wall chart

For all of you out there who just find the baffilingly high amounts of different feminist traditions a tad confusing I have included a link to a fabulous wall chart that explains it all for you! Life hasn't been this easy since Mummy forgot to pick me up from Tumble Tots one afternoon and the sports instructor drove me all the way home and gave me a drumstick lollipop to subside my tears.

Feminist Wall Chart (hang it on your pink Smeg fridge with pride)

Hugs and Pugs x

En garde!

I would like to draw your attention to marvellous blog post on Joan of Arc - a key symbol of the American Feminist movement.

"The Suffragette Movement’s Use of Joan of Arc’s Image

Joan had been an important symbol of American patriotism since right after the Revolutionary War, when an Irish immigrant named John Burk wrote a play called “Female Patriotism Or the Death of Joan of Arc.” By 1912, Americans were quite familiar with Joan’s stirring exploits. For any citizen who had missed all the books, plays, and works of art, Ringling Brothers toured that season with a $500,000.00 extravaganza that boasted 1200 actors and sensational special effects.

The following year, Americans marched on Washington, demanding that the Constitution be amended to grant women the right to vote. Suffragette parades in England had been led by a woman dressed as Joan since 1911. United States women happily borrowed the tradition for the Washington march: the Women’s Suffrage Procession featured a progressive attorney named Inez Milholland mounted on a white horse."

Of course they did- I myself have often mounted a white horse to various friends' fancy dress parties. Although arriving on my trusty steed to Melody's nautical themed 21st birthday party was admittedly a little bit tenuous.

The post has actually inspired me to research what symbols my Rider ancestoresses used in their various campaigns against the male race. I plan to psychoanalytically link their favourite animals to their various personality aspects using the Jungian concept of anima.

Of course my psychiatrist friends tell me that the two are totally unrelated - but I shall prove them wrong! x

Women and Pots! Why didn't someone think of it sooner?

Look out for my article in KnockBack magazine!

The worst jobs in the world for Women? Posie Rider investigates...

Lady readers! I must apologise for my absence of late. I've been incredibly busy drafting A Year off the Ward, which looks set to be published but only on the condition that I first pen a serious exploration of the dumbest jobs for women in the UK. I know what you’re thinking

“This is Posie Rider- a middle to upper-middle class urban haute bourgeois lady writer with a trust fund large enough to purchase a small African country- why would she be writing an article on air-head jobs for women?”

Well readers, that’s kind of the point. The piece is designed to be incredibly shocking, namely because of my hostile reaction to employment opportunities miles beneath my superior intellect. For instance last week I spent a whole three days working in a ‘PR’ company in the ‘HR’ department, which mainly consisted of me ordering Marks and Spencer’s mince pies online and emptying packets of ready salted crisps into little bowls to go with the ‘dress-down Friday’ bar that opens each…Friday. God it was hell. My incredible brain hadn’t been so distressed since I got a B in my Art A-level. Those of you who have had the honour of seeing my incredible artistic offerings on this blog will know that such a claim is totally unfounded and the equivalent of stealing an ice-cream from a small child playing in the sunshine and possibly flashing your genitalia at her: perverted and wrong.

This week I’ve been working in an supposed ‘organic’ kitchen, which I thought would be a more pleasant pursuit, but how wrong I was (my toilet cleaner is more organic than the contents of their culinary offerings). When embarking upon a recipe for Sorrel, Leak and Venison soup I was rudely told to put down my chopping knife and start preparing some egg and cress sandwiches. Egg and cress sandwiches! This was a shop on the high street in Holborn (I sought a position in Borough Market but needless to say there were none available - sigh) but even in this run down cafe I was most shocked by the substandard eating habits of the masses. Next week I’m going to be a receptionist at a hair salon where, in order to fully embrace the role, I am required to peruse those awful publications that go by the name of Heat and Grazia.

However, once again (as with most of my literary purists) I do all this all in the name of great art. For upon completing this terrible article I have been guaranteed publication of my ground-breaking A Year off the Ward.

I (often) feel like a female Jesus! It really is too too much to bear the weight on womankind, and yet I go on... Toodles! x

The curious case of the Bluestocking Pony and a warning to us all...

Can you believe it? ANOTHER one of my great ancestors has been written about AGAIN in terribly important historical work. This time it's about the bluestockings and my great great Auntie Polly Constance Rider.

She features in a wonderful book by the author Jane Robinson called Bluestockings - The Remarkable Story of the First Women to Fight for an Education. I read about it on the F-word. Although my great great auntie is not directly mentioned a dear anecdote pointed me in the right direction:

... the story of Constance Maynard, for example, appears across several chapters and eventually the mention of her name is like rediscovering an old friend. That Maynard’s father tried to bribe her out of accepting a university place by offering her a pony seems to tickle Robinson in particular, as she brings it up repeatedly. You can almost see her eyes rolling.

Well indeed, because my great great Auntie Polly Constance Rider, was indeed that very Constance! She later married a Maynard and dropped the Polly (she went on to work for Mi5 in Moscow and they thought it was a bit of a giveaway). But what Robinson doesn't know, and what history books won't tell you, is that she accepted that pony with eager joy: and do not roll your eyes Robinson! For she used that pony to become a highway robber, which gave her financial independence, the kind an education could never buy.

Indeed as feminists we must step outside of these pre conceived 'notions' of 'education'. It's very small minded. The whole of life is an erudite force cleaning the tunnels of our minds like a lavender-scented aromatherapy candle (divine!). In this respect one has to conclude that you are either born highly intelligent or just plain dumb, and I think we all know what category the Riders fall into.

Hugs and Pugs!

Miss England...oh dear I don't know what to think.

Ok, so Rachel Christie has become the first black Miss England, and I don't know WHAT to think.

On one hand, she's a formidable woman: an accomplished athlete (like her uncle, Linford Christie) who's struggled through a difficult childhood (father fell into crime etc) to burst through the white bastions of Miss England and "to show people, the younger generation especially, that you can do something positive with your life." She's also 5'10", which is awesome.

On the OTHER hand, Miss England, like all beauty pageants, is an outdated parade of female bodies which carelessly objectifies young women.

Should we really be inspired by these sorts of competitions? Prowess on the track is something to be proud of, and in this Male interview Christie says that it is this drive to support herself as an athlete that encouraged her to seek a legitimate modelling career on the side through Miss England. But I have to ask, isn't flaunting one's fortunate bone structure in order to be ranked above other women a high price to pay in order to support yourself, however much you care about your career?

I just don't KNOW. You see, I really am happy for her. I would like to draw something inspiring from this event. I mean, if Miss England must go on, it's surely better that the sorts of women who win it are competent in other aspects of their life, have careers and ambitions, and don't fit the godforsaken whiteblondebigboobedairhead stereotype.

And what's worse, the runner up, Lance Corporal Kat Hodge is, you guessed it, a soldier. Here's a picture of her holding a bloody great big gun like Tank Girl (with flawless eye make-up, may I add). I mean...I'm a pacifist and everything but...oh God she's a woman holding a gun how can I NOT like her? And did you know she received a commendation for bravery when a punched an Iraqi insurgent who'd just snatched two guns from her truck and was threatening to kill her. Scream!

I'm sorry, Object girls I'm with you, but I just can't help but like these women. If Miss England carries on bestowing grace on women of undue merit, I'm afraid I'm going to go over to the other side. I might even enter, I've definitely got the thighs for it.

I suppose the real test is whether they'll ever get round to giving the award to an outstanding woman who doesn't happen to be gorgeous...

Daily Male, leave our children alone!

Check this out, if you dare.

What do you do if your daughter is obsessed with slimming at just SEVEN? asked one yummy mummy to Femail, the feminine face of the Daily Male, who are basically a harem of harpies gorging on the skins of young teenage Tesco workers somewhere in a bucket in Kent.

Rejoined Female: why not let us take photos of you in tea dresses while you accuse society of corrupting your slim cherub, then we can feature it as top story on our website while we simultaneously:

a) laugh at 'fat' actress Kirstie Alley

b) laugh at close up photos of Kirsty Gallacher's shoes

c) admire Anne Hathaway's shapely thighs

d) ogle some topless photos of Nazi prostitutes

e) ogle Kim Kardashian's shapely bottom

f) look at some supermodels

g) reveal Katy Perry's control pants

h) admire Liz Hurley's legs

i) reclaim 'ugly' Susanne Boyle by digging up pictures of her as an almost tolerable looking 20 year old

j) ogle 16 year old 'stunner' Miley Cyrus

With a mother who's willing to you into a splash eyebrow-furrowing feature as a feather in the 'worthy cap' of the riotously anti-female Femail, where else is a young gal to look but to the society of the spectacular blue eyeshadow for role models? Female - with friends like you, who needs frenemies?

A very thin model DOESN'T get an award!

One of final 30 contestants for Australia's Miss Universe, apparently. Eeep!

The Guardian, as usual, has something to say about it.

As does the Daily Male: " 'She's Macedonian,' said one official. "

On Model Mayhem, her agency's profile, her friends have rallied to her support. Ella B says:

"Hey Stephanie, you are absolutely beautiful - ignore the media; they are corrupt in so many ways. (What's the bet the story was started by a very jealous female journalist/reporter?) The media are the ones who look bad in all this; the public and
yourself know that you are healthy, fabulous and stunning."

Hmmm, jealous journalist? Ella, per-lease. I'm basically a journalist and I spent a morning waiting for a friend while she got rejected from various modeling agencies. One thing I noticed was the models I did encounter were frankly funny looking. I don't understand why being a model is supposed to be a desirable trade, or is seen as some kind of skill. I frequently get 'talent scouted' when out in Covent Garden, and am met with appalled looks when I walk away disinterested. As far as I can see, the only thing you need to do to be a model is to stay awake. And we all know how difficult that is!

I digress. What I really think about this issue is - poor duck! Can't we feminists bring ourselves to humanise the super skinny too? I mean, she is so thin! This media outcry is like shooting an eel in a bucket. I am desperately in favour of girls not being pushed into cycles of self-loathing due to exposure to unobtainable body shapes and their normalisation, nay, valorisation. But Stephanie Naumoska surely is the exception, not the rule? And it's not like she won the competition...

Oh sod it, what did we expect from an all-female beauty contest? There's no way these forums can be used to promote positive role models of any size, and no body shape is 'normal' - we're all different sisters!

Thanks to all my fans!

Some of you may have seen my article Pity in Pink on the FWord about my hideous experiences buying a laptop that wasn't pink (impossible for a woman, apparently). I've just seen all these great comments from my fans on the FWord and thought I'd post them for the benefit of my readers, and to say thanks for everyone who thought the article was great!

From Louise Whittle
I too am looking for a laptop (Mac as opposed to PC)....and it doesn't bode well. Hideous pink colours as well. Oh well, I can't wait for some bloke to patronise me about 'girly friendly' technology.

From Helen
I *love* that research. Most hilarious evolutionary psych idea ever. Wimmins like pink because it's totally like berries. Teh mens don't like pink because they don't gather, they hunt. And animal flesh isn't cissy pink.... Except when it is...
Plus I've been told that pink used to be considered a manly colour in the UK (don't have sources so not certain) and that's why it's popular on scarfs/crests for old public schools and colleges.

From Hannah
The same thing happened to me when I was upgrading my phone last month. The sales assistant brought up a huge list of phones I was eligible to upgrade to but then 'helpfully' pointed out two pink phones and told me how popular they are with 'the ladies' at the moment. Like you said I don't object to pink phones being produced but I do object to being steered towards them as if they're the ideal option for me because I'm female. The look on my face probably said it all to be honest because he then said 'Or maybe you'd prefer a black or silver phone?'...

From Bob
"in order to distinguish between ripe and non-ripe fruit such as berries then women developed an innate preference for reddish tones."
Surely, then, men would also be attracted to pink, as it resembles the blood of the animals he was hunting?

Posie Rider, author of the bloody article, replies:
Exactly, Bob! Apparently, men like blue because, er, they were out in the wide world 'looking at the sky'. Women like dark, cavernous spaces (beds, cupboards, the vagina) while men like spears, tigers, stones etc. Maybe men like silver and grey laptops because they remind them of stones or the sheen on the skin of a freshly caught fish? It's absolutely baffling.
And did women never see the sky? Did they just "not like that sort of thing"? If you cut me, do I not bleed?

I have only one word to say to these quacks. BLACKBERRIES.

From Eleanor T
In response to Posie Rider's recent article, I wish to say this: "YES!!" I fight battles every single day with both men and women who think all girls like pink and all boys like blue. If this were really the case, why aren't all the proper, "sensible" laptops coloured blue? Why don't we see more items in blue? It's because people think men have the capacity to think about product specifics... and women don't. I grow ever more frustrated by this the more of the world I explore. Posie, your article was brilliant and couldn't have come at a better time. Question though: did you end up buying a laptop from that store or did you turn your nose up at the wall of pink and stalk out in a huff?

From Christina crease
Just read your 'pink laptop' blog, it made me smile, I'm a 32 year old computer programmer and when I went to PCWorld for a new laptop they tried to sell me a pink laptop, I pointed out that it was really only children who might like them and how silly I would look turning up to a business meeting with a barbie laptop! I opted instead for a sony viao, its very powerful and comes in a sleek shiny midnight blue case. very elegant, and much more grown up than pink! anyway, a very entertaining read :-D

From heather harvey
just wanted to say great article and I assume we all know about the new web campaign "Pink Stinks", http://www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

From Caroline Armstrong
I loved your article about the pink laptops. I too am aghast at the amount of regular items coloured pink just so that girls will buy them. Also that it appears to WORK because people DO actually buy the stuff. I want to pounce on them in the street and shake them into sense. My local pound shop has a whole range of DIY tools and accessories, coloured pink, with the phrase 'just for girls' printed on. Am I incapable of using black pliars? Wouldn't I understand what a black screwdriver is? Loved the article, keep up the good work!

From Lara
I have a shiny new laptop. It's pink and I'm very excited. Oops...

Jess McCabe, editor of The F-Word, replies
I think the point Posie was trying to make wasn't that women shouldn't want or buy pink laptops, but that it's insulting when shops assume that the best, easiest, automatic way to get women to buy stuff is to make it in pink. It's all kinds of patronising for companies to assume that they can just make a product pink and women will buy it.

Call Yourself a Feminist: Part 2

Girlies- it's the secon part of that Radio 4 groovy documentary on Feminism...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00j3xcz/Call_Yourself_a_Feminist_Episode_2/

Make way for a new world order: Why feminism needs to take advantage of the credit crunch

Check out this awesome article from Diane Perrons- the impact the economic meltdown is having on women- WE JUST WON'T STAND IT ANYMORE!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/mar/06/global-economics-gender-women

Malalai Joya: Afghan Feminist Activist

MALALAI JOYA is a former Afghan parliament member and the current director of the Organization for Promoting Afghan Women’s Capabilities. She is an example to all us Western Feminists.

Read her thoughts on what the world needs to do to sort out Afghanistan....

http://www.worldpulse.com/magazine/columns/afghanistan-exposed

MALALAI JOYA

WorldPulse

Here is the wonderful site WorldPulse (click on the title). An international network for women from around the world. As a white middle class feminist with a cat and way too much time on my hands I sometimes feel the need to 'give a little' to Feminists less fortunate than moi.

Toodles! xx

Call Yourself a Feminist?

Well yes I do actually, but for those of you who need a quick history on the history of this glorious tradition here's the first part of a groovy BBC Radio 4 documentary on feminism. I was asked to star of course but Rosie Boycott lived up to her name- bitch.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b00j022c

Iraq's Unspeakable Crime: Mothers Pimping Daughters

I saw this shocking article in TIME magazine about daughters being sold into sexual slavery and thought you might be interested. The fight goes on sisters!

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1883696,00.html?imw=Y