Hi Gals! It's christmas time and as a little treat I'm sharing my special recipe for vagina cake! It was passed down through generations of the Rider family, I learnt it from my Aunt Lilly on the day I got my first period!
Posie's Recipe for Vagina Cake
Don't forget you need a Vagina to make these, else the recipe won't work (no boys allowed!)
Ingredients
110g (4oz) butter or margarine
110g (4oz) caster sugar
2 medium size eggs
75g (3oz) self-raising flour, sieved
2 – 3 drops Dr. Oetker Natural Vanilla Extract
Dr. Oetker Baking Cases
For the icing
75g (3oz) unsalted butter
175g (6oz) icing sugar
warm water
MIXED TOGETHER WITH 2 DROPS OF PINK FOOD COLOURING (this is very important lady readers!)
Vaginal Decoration
Sieved icing sugar
RED / PINK FOOD COLOURING
Pre-heat oven to 180ºC/350ºF/Gas Mark 4. Place the Baking Cases into a cupcake tin.
Well done - you've completed the first task (have a gin and fizz!)
Cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. (how cute!)
Gradually beat in the eggs and the buter and stuff, if the mixture starts to curdle, add a little flour.
Fold in the remaining flour with a metal spoon. Put in one drop of PINK FOOD COLOURING AND STIR. (yummy!)
Place spoonfuls of the mixture into the Baking Cases and bake for 15 - 20 minutes until well risen and firm to the touch. Remove from the oven and leave to cool on a cooling rack.
Take a sharp knife and cut a circle out of the top of each cake at an angle about 1cm (½ inch) from the edge.
Cut each circle in half and set aside.
Fill each cake with the butter and stuff. (Vagina City- here we come!) Place the butter AND TWO DROPS OF RED FOOD COLOURING in a bowl and beat until soft.
Gradually sift and beat in the icing sugar.
Mix in STRAWBERRY Extract and enough milk / water to make the icing fluffy and spreadable and use as above.
Place two half circles of cake on top to resemble THE LABIA.
Dust the top of each cake lightly with the sieved icing sugar.
Well done lady readers, or should I say chefs! you have created an authetic looking vagina that you can eat even if you're not a lesbian (or a man). LOVE YOURSELF and a merry Posie Christmas to each and every woman!
Review of Luke Roberts, Living in History (Edinburgh, 2024)
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My review of Luke Roberts’s *Living in History: Poetry in Britain,
1945–1979*, is now up on the *Review of English Studies *website.
More information a...
2 days ago
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