What do you do if your daughter is obsessed with slimming at just SEVEN? asked one yummy mummy to Femail, the feminine face of the Daily Male, who are basically a harem of harpies gorging on the skins of young teenage Tesco workers somewhere in a bucket in Kent.
Rejoined Female: why not let us take photos of you in tea dresses while you accuse society of corrupting your slim cherub, then we can feature it as top story on our website while we simultaneously:
a) laugh at 'fat' actress Kirstie Alley
b) laugh at close up photos of Kirsty Gallacher's shoes
c) admire Anne Hathaway's shapely thighs
d) ogle some topless photos of Nazi prostitutes
e) ogle Kim Kardashian's shapely bottom
f) look at some supermodels
g) reveal Katy Perry's control pants
h) admire Liz Hurley's legs
i) reclaim 'ugly' Susanne Boyle by digging up pictures of her as an almost tolerable looking 20 year old
j) ogle 16 year old 'stunner' Miley Cyrus
With a mother who's willing to you into a splash eyebrow-furrowing feature as a feather in the 'worthy cap' of the riotously anti-female Femail, where else is a young gal to look but to the society of the spectacular blue eyeshadow for role models? Female - with friends like you, who needs frenemies?